The title says it all. Some musings may be meaningful, others just stream of consiciousness stuff for catharsis.

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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.

The Unscripted Musings of My Soul
Sunday, December 09, 2001  
Second posting in my blog. Captains log, stardate 12-9-01. I went to church this morning, as is my custom (a.k.a. Daniel), however, I went to the 9:15 service before going to SALT. I went because I missed the Sat. night service last night due to watching the KY Wildcats game until 6:00. The service today was good. Bob talked about joy versus disillusionment at Christmas. He talked about how we all have disappointment in our lives and this disappointment tends to come out a lot at Christmastime. I have so much disappointment regarding Ruth and who she turned out to be. Still, the idea is to have joy in my life in spite of the disappointment and the bad circumstances. Got to go right now. Will post more later...
1:29 PM

Saturday, December 08, 2001  
Here it is, the inaugural posting on my site. Who am I writing to? I guess to myself. Why am I doing this? Because I just watched TechTV's ScreenSaver program and Leo Laporte did a little story on this site. Also, because I've always wanted to have a site where I can journal. I express myself well in written form. This is a vehicle for me to do just that - to express myself. So, I don't care if anyone else ever reads this, this is for me.

First things first: Who am I? Good question. The answer to that is something that requires you to look into your soul. You see, to know who you are is not so easy. I'm tempted to answer with things about me that are based on the perception that others have about me, like I am a niece guy, I'm kind of quiet, I'm family oriented, and so on. I tend to see myself through other peoples' eyes. Mistake. Who I am is not really the same as who other people see me to be. I'm reading a book called The Search For Significance right now and that is the main point it makes. People tend to derive their self-image and self-worth from their performance and other people's expectations. This is a dangerous trap that leads to always seeking the approval of others in order to feel good about yourself. That's me. I'm an approval addict. I care too much about what other people think about me. Now, there is a kernel of legitimacy to being conscious of what other's think of you. It can be good manners. I really dislike (but secretly admire) people who do not seem to care at all what people think about them. They seem to have no self-conscience at all. They can talk loud, never mind drawing attention to themselves and just overall seem to demonstrate an "I don't care" attitude toward the outside world. That's not really healthy either. I think to be at peace with who you are is a great gift, but to be so self-absorbed as to not care about humility and good manners, which dictate modesty and decorum in social settings, is a really bad thing. I do not aspire to that kind of self-expression. Well, that's it for my initial entry. Not sure where this will go from here, but I don't really care.

7:29 AM

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